WONDERFULLY MADE
I think that among my friends I have heard every opinion possible on personality profiling. And I mean EVERY opinion! I have friends who love them ALL, including the ones on Facebook where selecting a photo from a choice of four dogs will tell you which colour you would be in a box of crayola markers or which Downton Abbey character you will. Yes, those quizzes (and people!) exist! Oh and I got Lord Grantham by the way!
On the other end of the spectrum, I have friends who detest and mock them all, refusing to be boxed in and determined that even a set of 5000 questions and four days of observation and profiling can’t even begin to say something about who you truly are. OK, so I made that example up, but I do have friends who won’t accept that personality profiling has any benefit.
Starting a DTS with YWAM means moving back into living in community with all of our preferences, cultural backgrounds (and I don’t just mean nationalities), fears, experiences and eccentricities. It’s a whole new world of learning to live with others and I have to say, that on a daily basis I give thanks for both Kendall Life Languages and the Meyers Briggs types, and I thought I’d share a little here to encourage some of you and explain why – in general - I’m a fan!
First, my disclaimer though! I said ‘in general’, so let me tell you first what I don’t like and what I’m NOT talking about!
Firstly, I know that no test or profile defines us or sets our behaviours for life. Our identity lies in being a child of God, and our character, understanding, preferences and behaviours is constantly changing as he transforms us. Even the weaknesses of those profiles shouldn’t be received as absolutes because we have a God who teaches us to set those aside and who transforms us from glory to glory, working on but still loving and changing the ugly in us. Our design is complex and is also being molded by our experiences. Both nature and nurture are powerful, and even when we know tendencies, we all experience different intensities and levels of those things meaning that nothing will ever know or describe or define us fully – except our maker.
So, no inflexible boxes, no rigid 'types' and no defining a person entirely or predicting their future behaviours based on the results!
Secondly, even when we find a tool that does help us understand ourselves, and the others around us, these are NOT to be excuses to mistreat others or have our own way. These should be tools that direct our hearts and awareness toward each other and not into ourselves.
Reasons I Like Personality Profiling
It creates more awareness of the fact (and it should be obvious really) WE DON’T ALL THINK ALIKE!!!!!! For real! Sometimes when that person doesn’t talk to you about something it’s because they’re wired toward privacy and think they’re giving you that gift – not that they’re not interested. Sometimes when that person keeps bugging you about something? It’s because they’re created with the strength of taking action to make things happen, not because they don’t think you’ll do it. Those flowers that meant nothing to you because you were craving a coffee date? They thought they were expressing love. Some differences are obvious. Sometimes they’re more subtle. Even if profiling doesn’t provide us with an exact guide, it at least makes us aware enough that we can ASK and talk.
They help us understand others. This means we can look at their strengths and honour them for those instead of getting irritated by the things about them that don’t make sense to us.
They legitimise our design. What do I mean by that? How many of us sometimes feel desperately aware of our failings? Feel like we don’t fit in? That no-one gets us? That we’re ‘wrong’? I definitely did. And do. Some days, even understanding this doesn’t stop the struggle. The first time I took the Life Languages course I cried as they described me and affirmed that design is, as Psalm 39 says, “fearfully and wonderfully made’. Hearing someone verify ‘that’s who they are’ or ‘that’s a strength’ about things that you’ve been told are wrong or need healing is an incredible thing. None of us is designed ‘wrong’, just ‘different’ and even though no profile, language or type can describe us perfectly, it usually offers us enough understanding to begin to accept and love ourselves and begin to see ourselves the way God does.
They help us understand why we’re misunderstood or find things challenging. Recently a huge revelation for me has been the way my Meyer’s Briggs type understands friendship. Being the most rarely found ‘type’, and then with all our other personality differences, I often been searching for something in friendships that isn’t obtainable. It explains a LOT about patterns in my life and has made it so much easier going into a new environment because I can release others from those expectations and engage in the way. Does it always mean it feels good? No, but I understand something of the process and am a lot more fulfilled than I used to be.
It increases our compassion and helps us identify stress in those we relate to.
They can help us build more effective teams. We can’t always choose who is on our team but we can understand the strengths and weaknesses and work toward those. In employment situations we can analyse teams and see what’s missing and search for someone who specifically meets that need. We can make sure we don’t have people in roles that draw attention to their weaknesses and leave them demoralised.
They help us communicate with others. We learn how some people prefer direct or indirect communication. That they prefer a gift to a compliment. That they’d rather a text than a phone call. That they need to hear something phrased as an instruction not request. Even with people I know well I still get this wrong and there are days when none of us will get it right at all, not because of us but what they’re walking through......but it’s a start!
We can pre-empt issues. We’ll never stop issues arising, but if we know certain people are wired a certain way we know where issues are likely to occur. This in itself can help prevent them materialising at times because we can alter our behaviour when we see it developing. We can focus training, pre-marital counseling and team building on some of those differences and when they happen, are more likely to keep them in a healthy context.
We can better appreciate our Creator. It’s true! When we see the complexities and intricacies of each other and how we were all created to interact and ALL made in the image of God, it’s pretty amazing! He himself is so many different facets and when we see that reflected in each other, it's a beautiful thing. Thos things are around us all the time, but sometimes taking that test and that training just helps us to see and appreciate it a bit more.
