A Different Kind of Tool Belt
"And so, what tools do you have in your belt now?" It's a common enough question. Or at least, it is in my social and ministry sphere. We talk about tools that we have for accomplishing a particular task. In the conversation I'm remembering, I was being asked by one of our leaders what tools I had that would enable me to connect with the Nepali people we were going to encounter. What ways could I reach out and begin to build relationship when there was a pretty huge language barrier?
Usually my answer would look something like the answers my friends could have given:
Singing and dancing
Playing sports. ESPECIALLY as being British I know a thing or two about cricket which most of their western visitors (often Americans), don't!
Being the crazy teacher with lots of kinaesthetic learning activities
Doing practical tasks that help like carrying this bundle up the hill for this Newari lady. This was especially legendary on my first trip to Uganda where I felt the need to demonstrate women could be as strong as men, and - gym buff that I was back then - helped carry a 200lb tree trunk with one other guy.
Playing, cuddling, and roughhousing with the kids
All ways or tools that come very easily to me and to many others in a culture that values 'doing' more than 'being'. But what was I going to answer on this occasion? On this morning when a triple whammy of pneumonia, bronchitis had rendered me unable to do ANY of my normal outreach behaviours, how was I going to connect with people?
One way was obvious. My camera. The Nepali kids especially loved seeing their photos on the screen and in one school I almost got left behind because I was so swamped with kids I hadn't seen the team leaving. As I was going to follow, I just kept stopping for that 'one last photo then' and got further and further behind!
Not so obvious to me was hair! Yes, hair! Whilst others danced and played sports, I sat with girls and braided hair. Thank goodness for a My Little Pony and Barbie obsession and two younger sisters growing up!
Less obvious still, but perhaps my most valuable tool I learned I had? Simply being. Sitting. Watching. Waiting. Smiling at the bird song or a child that passes by. I spent one day in the home sitting next to a Karam board for hours with a lady. We played a bit, but mostly we sat, and by the end of the day we had a language, a connection, and understanding. How obvious, but how little we think of it. A friend who had experienced grief had spoken to the leader about the power of people just coming to sit with her. Not bringing meals or counsel or words of comfort or books that may help, rather, simply coming to sit with her with no words or intentions except to be. Nepal is still grieving after the devastation of the earthquakes, and its people are in need of the comfort of a Father. How strange I would overlook simply being there with them. How was it I hadn't seen sooner the power of a loving God sending a person around the world to simply be with them in their grief. And so I learned a tool we all have but often fail to use because it's not the most obvious to our performance driven society. Just be there. Be present. Be WITH someone. No motives, no need to converse or teach or train. Just be.
